309423 Are you a female high school dropout, between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five?
Are you tired of lying around in bed all day with nothing to do?
Well. you never need get up again, because in six short weeks, I can train you to be high paying ho...
Just think-fifteen hundred dollars a week, without even leaving the comfort of your own bedroom..
Sound too good to be true?
Just send for my new book, "I Wanna Be a Ho."-Velvet Jones (Velvet Jones School of Technology)
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I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me?

The Dalai Lama, himself.
Twelfth son of the Lama.
The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking.

So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver.
He hauls off and whacks one (big hitter, the Lama) long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier.

And do you know what the Lama says?
"Gunga galunga...gunga -- gunga galunga."

So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me.
And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know."

And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness."

So I got that goin' for me.
Which is nice.
total-consciousness